Never Weak
by ForbiddenxMelody
Summary: I had always wanted to be seen as strong. Well… let me rephrase that I never wanted to be seen as weak in front of ANYBODY. There was never an exception. I think that is what ruined it for us. JILEY oneshot.


I had always wanted to be seen as strong. Well… let me rephrase that; I never wanted to be seen as weak- in front of ANYBODY. There was never an exception. I think that is what ruined it for us.

Miley…

You are amazing beyond all words that can possibly describe you. I never wanted to let you go. And that one night… you dressed up in that silly outfit and tried to make yourself look bad. I was stupid enough to think it was because you wanted to be the center of attention. Right now, I wish it had been the reason, because that was something we could have worked out together, but no.

You wanted to break up with me. I had been to full of myself. I guess I forgot I didn't have to be like that with you. It's just that I grew up as the famous Jake Ryan. No one knew Leslie. He was hidden inside me. That was something I loved about you; I could be Leslie without a second thought with you; I could be the real me.

It was something new to me. Like I said, I grew up famous. I was always the center of attention, so being my self gave me that amazing new feeling. It happened every time I was with you, but when you said you wanted to break up… I broke down on the inside. When I said earlier that I never wanted to be seen as weak, I didn't make an exception for you. I wish I had though.

I had used anger. I yelled at you. You know the phase, 'this'll hurt me more than it'll hurt you'? I never understood it until then. Being angry at you, seeing that hurt look on your face… it might as well have killed me… all just to seem strong. I thought if I said something like, 'give me another chance! I'll change!' it would be pathetic, weak. I thought you would think I'm a loser.

Never being seen as weak- being strong- was something I lived by. It is just who I am.

I couldn't talk to you in person so soon after that, so I wrote a note and gave you another rose. I didn't think that was weak. I couldn't just leave without letting you know I was sorry. After two months, I thought it was time to come out of the shadows. I couldn't forget about you, so I came to your house. You were definitely surprised and you thought that I was there because I couldn't get over you. Okay, that was true.

But I couldn't be weak. I couldn't admit that. So I said that I just wanted 'friends.' That was stupid of me. I wanted to tell you how I felt about you, how I love you. I was worried- worried about my previous nightmares where you end up laughing in my face. It was different back in middle school, when I knew you liked me. So maybe now that I'm back from Antarctica, here in civilization, I'll keep my eyes open for Hannah's next new album. Maybe I'll find another song about the beautiful girl who fell for the cinematic talking guy who had everyone star-struck.

That would make my day- no- YEAR.

The small time we spent together as a couple was better than any movie offer I'll ever get.

I've heard the phase, 'distance makes the heart grow founder.' It certainly hadn't worked for us. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I never went to Romania. We could have gotten together then and been a couple in eighth grade, spent the summer together, and started high school together. We could have gone to the movie premiere of the movie that I would have rejected, and I would have felt no remorse.

You are the only girl that didn't fall for Jake Ryan the actor. You're the only girl to fall for Leslie though. I know that you wouldn't have used me for my fame or fortune like anyone else. That's just one amazing thing about you. You're beautiful in every single way. Your voice is music, just like your laugh. And that fact that you didn't want to live your life as a pop star 24/7 was so… I don't know, weird? I mean you could survey a million people, and so few would actually say if they had the chance to live a famous life, they wouldn't take it. Though now, I wish I had done what you did, and had two identities.

Maybe one day, I will push aside my never 'weak' lifestyle, and let you know I still love you so much. Thinking back… I never did have the courage to say it straight to your face.

One day I will let you know.

Face to face.

In my book, loosing you for good is the worst thing I could do, because you are, and always will be the best thing that EVER happened to me.

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**A/N: Okay, that was just a random oneshot- just Jake's thoughts. Kinda short, I know. It just came to me. I'm still suffering writer's block on Summer In Tennessee, remember, ideas are welcome and credited. I'm about to fall asleep cause it's 2:30am. Sorry if there were grammar mistakes or I bored you to death.**


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